My Thoughts- British

I got the news about my appeal hearing today. My appeal was upheld and the lady even said that my 'boss' should not have presented the matter officially.

Still a long way for me to go. It's best to return where I am from but is it right for me to return now?...

This is just like any other day. The only difference is that I have an appeal hearing today after having appealed the earlier decision.

It's an absolute joke...this place. I cant believe that these people actually believe the charade they create here is real. Smoking mirrors? yeah.

There's very little covered in smoke thus giving the impression that something really exists inside the smoke

'Necessity is the mother of invention'

I need to re-invent myself and find a way of escape from this torment so I have decided to apply for a few jobs and see where that takes me. Not that I am too optimistic because I dont want to leave my location...I have dependants to think about. My foreign sounding is often more than enough for employers in this part of the world to make up their minds about my job applications.

I was in the mood for writing earlier but this site was down...now, I cant bring myself to do it.

Later then...

I thought the long weekend would help me relax. How mistaken was I...though it is much better than sitting in that extremely hostile atmosphere where you sense that people are whispering about you as soon as you move out of their earshot.

I actually asked for prayer in church today that God should intervene and give me peace in life. If it's a new job I need, God should help me get it or if there's something I need to to do to get peace; I prayed for wisdom to know what that thing is.

It made me feel good knowing that I told God about it and hopeful that all is now in His hands. He is bigger than everything and everyone so I know He is capable of making this turn out for my good.

Back at work today and I've been sitting at my desk for about 2 hours unable to do anything particularly meaningful. It seems I'll never feel at ease here again. Not that I really feel they want me anyway.

I neglected to state earlier that my manager had informed me that I was not going to be entitled to the bonus which I had been given for several years. He said company policy has been reviewed, and anyone in my category (I am the only one that category in my department) would no longer be entitled to the bonus again.

It was like a big stab in the back. I still feel grateful to God that I have a job but the treatment I get is killing me. I cant just quit as I have a mortgage to pay, and I have 2 dependants. Besides, I was brought up to believe in the dignity of labour so I will never be one to live on the dole.

I really need to say a few things about myself and how I got to this society...that should be done sometime soon.

I just got back from a disciplinary at work which is obviously my manager's first step in getting rid of me.

A guy invaded my desk and tampered with my phone to which I stated that I would deal with him if he ever crossed my path again. My manager decided that I had used threatening language at work and has therefore put a mark on my name to say that a was walking a tight rope and the next time anything happens, I'll be dismissed from work.

He claimed that such a statement is considered threatening in the society which I currently live. He never considered the fact that the guy had come to my desk to physically tamper with my phone is a more threatening gesture than the statement: "if he ever crosses my path again, I'll deal with him"

I have worked in this company for 5 years and I have never risen above the same level. I have worked diligently and, being a sales environment, results are good indicators of diligence and efficiency, yet everyone else gets here and gets promoted above me. The initial gossip had it that my accent was not impressive. I use the same accent succesfully for successful sales

I hope to use this to express my impressions of the society I now live in. Also, I will hopefully be able to articulate how my life in this society has affected me, both positive and negative.

Catch you soon